Wednesday
24th August
Distance:
2.52 miles Time: 37:29 Avg Speed: 4.03mph Avg Pace 14.52min/mile
Calories
Burned 439 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 8604
Saturday
13th August
Distance:
7.02 miles Time: 1:46:56 Avg Speed: 3.94mph Avg Pace 15.14min/mile
Calories
Burned 1206 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 8165.
Wednesday
10th August
Distance:
2.31 miles Time: 35:17 Avg Speed: 3.93mph Avg Pace 15.15min/mile
Calories
Burned 397 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 6959.
Saturday
30th July
Distance:
6.01 miles Time: 1:31:25 Avg Speed: 3.95mph Avg Pace 15.12min/mile
Calories
Burned 1035 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 6562.
Saturday
23rd July
Distance:
5.07 miles Time: 1:16:08 Avg Speed: 4.00mph Avg Pace 15.00min/mile
Calories
Burned 881 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 5527
Saturday
16th July
Distance:
3.56 miles Time: 54:04 Avg Speed: 3.95mph Avg Pace 15.12min/mile
Calories
Burned 612 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 4646
Saturday
2nd July
Distance:
5.06 miles Time: 1:12:07 Avg Speed: 4.21mph Avg Pace 14.14min/mile
Calories
Burned 903 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 4034.
Thursday
30th June
Distance:
0.77 miles Time: 12.21 Avg Speed: 3.75mph Avg Pace 16.00min/mile
Calories
Burned 128 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 3151.
Monday
27th June (Walking)
Distance:
1.79 miles Time: 41:13 Avg Speed: 2.65mph Avg Pace 14.27min/mile
Calories
Burned 286 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 3023.
Saturday
25th June
Distance:
5.01 miles Time: 1:10:55 Avg Speed: 4.24mph Avg Pace 14.27min/mile
Calories
Burned 821 Calories
Burned TOTAL: 2737.
It
has been some time since my last blog post and in that time my world has
crumbled. My beloved, My Raison d'être the man whom I absolutely adored with
every fibre of my being has died. He had been suffering with the most crippling
depression for the last year and on Monday 18th July he took his own
life. I am left totally bereft and broken. My poor little heart is shattered
into a million pieces that will never ever be rebuilt. I struggle to find the
words to describe just how broken I feel. I have managed to keep up the running
as I am determined to finish what I stared and now all the more I will run for
him. Everything I do I do for him. He was the sun that rose in my morning and
the moon that took me to my sleep. Without him I there is just a cavernous hole
in my life that I know nothing or no one will ever fill. I was lucky, so lucky
to have 25 blissfully happy years with him and I am grateful for those BUT I
WANTED MORE! I wanted to watch his beautiful face age into our later years as a
man so handsome would have grown old with the dignity and beauty (that he
already possessed) that men gain in their later years. I wanted to travel more
with him, it would have got more difficult but I would have coped. I wanted to
sit on our porch in our rockers and reminisce about our memories. But more than
anything I just wanted to be with him to wake up next to him every morning and
to fall asleep in his arms every night. To cuddle up next to him, to breath in
his essence, to hear him speak to me, to hear him sing and most of all to see
that smile. Oh that smile, that smile that smile. He had a smile that would
melt ice and eyes so beautiful they warmed your heart. This was a good man. This
was a great man. This was my man.
We
gave him a most beautiful funeral full of music and joy, along with all the
pain we were feeling and for the rest of this blog I will share the eulogy that
I gave at his funeral.
CEFI
First
may I on behalf of myself, Ryan and all the family say a heartfelt thank you to
everyone who has been so wonderful and shown so much love and kindness to us
all over the past heart breaking days. You have sustained us.
However
when I stop to think why you were doing it I am then, not surprised at all. For
the love of Cefin you called at our home. For the love of Cefin you sent
flowers. For the love of Cefin you brought food parcels and wine boxes. For the
love of Cefin you telephoned to check on us all. For the love of Cefin you sent
beautiful words and cards. For the love of Cefin you prayed and lit candles.
For the love of Cefin you are all here today. For the love of Cefin.
Cef
was a man full of love. Cefi would do anything for anyone. On those occasions
when someone called with an emergency he was by the door with the car keys
ready before I even got off the phone. No matter what was asked of him if he
could help then he would, without question. Sometimes he didn’t even know what
was being asked of him but he still stood by the door ready to go. He would
never pry or need to know why. Cefi was the kindest gentlest sharing man I have
ever known. I am sure that if I was to go into teacher mode now and ask you all
for a show of hands as to who here was ever helped by Cef:
to
do something,
to
respond to a request for assistance,
to
offer sage advice,
to
borrow something,
to
sort something
to
move something,
to
give a lift……
To
do whatever I know that practically every hand in this building would go up.
Because that was what he did. He hated conflict and arguments and strived at
all times to broker peace and mediation. Always going out of his way to help
anyone who needed it. He NEVER saw
the colour or a person’s skin or cared about their sexuality he just simply saw
all people equally and if they were a good person then that was all that
mattered to him Cef was a man full of love. For the love of Cefin we are all
here.
For
the love of Cefin.
Cefi,
My Cefi, was a wonderful man who inspired love and laughter. He was so many
things as we have already heard in this service and he will have been something
different to everyone sitting here today a son, a brother, a father, an uncle,
a cousin, a nephew, a friend, a colleague and Ryan will speak about Cef’s
actions as a dad. But to me he was my husband, my world, my love, my life; he
was quite simply my everything. I loved him completely with every fibre of my
being he was my Moon and Stars, My Night and Day. I cannot begin to imagine how
my life is going to be without him.
For
the love of Cefin.
Cefi
and I first met in this very building, on the fourth year of his 3 year degree!
He came to church one Sunday morning, for no apparent reason he and a friend
just decided to come! He sat on the back row… there. I, as I was want to do, arrived late and came
in with my usual bluster and sat down with my mum on the back row ….there. We
both spotted each other; I nudged my mum and said ‘He has nice eyes’ she
replied ‘Yes he has nice teeth too’ from that moment he did not stand a chance.
Whenever I asked him why he came back the next week, he always said he had
noticed my long hair and my high heels so for me it was eyes and teeth for him
hair and heels we both had what the other loved!
I
was just coming to the end of my marriage to Ryan’s dad and had just been
granted my divorce papers so if he had come to church any sooner I would not
have been ready. I have always said that
God sent him for me. Cefin always understood about Ryan’s dad and he always
respected that fact that through Ian I had Ryan and there too so did he. I
wonder how many men would accept their wife’s ex-husband as readily as he did;
together we have had Christmas dinners, done car boot sales and shared in all
of Ryan’s highs and lows. In fact some of the first people to our house on that
fateful night were the family of Ryan’s dad, I think this just goes to show the
measure of the man we are remembering here.
For
the love of Cefin.
Once
Cef had passed the eyes and teeth test it soon became apparent to me that this
was a man who was to be mine in old fashioned parlance I set my cap at him. At
first he was wary, I was older, I had a child, I was divorced. But then on New
Year’s eve and full of beer, he rang me from Wales and stammered down the phone
‘ Why can’t we just be in love like other people?’ this was music to my ears as
I had already known for some time that I
was in love with him. So he sneaked home a day early and tricked me into
thinking he was not yet back in Leeds only to turn up on my doorstep 2 minutes
later. The following New Year’s eve he proposed to me, with a homemade ring
made out of a small shell stuck with epoxy resin to an unwound paperclip, I was
on the phone at the time and teased him by saying ‘no’ his crestfallen little
face was soon wreathed in that beautiful smile once I confirmed that I was only
joking. We were married here on 4th June 1994 and from that day to
this I can say in certain honesty that there was never one single day that we
did not say I love you. That there were probably only 2 or 3 arguments that I
can remember, a few tiffs from time to time but nothing ever major and we never
went to sleep angry. In fact on those occasions when I was cross with him his
sad puppy dog eyes would just plead with me and I could never stay angry with
him for long as it just upset him too much. Every time he dropped me off at
school I would stand and wave to him until I could see him no longer. Every
time either one of us drove off we would say the same thing to each other ‘Take
care, drive carefully, watch out for those nutters and remember…(we would pause
here whilst the other turned back to look then add)..I love you’. Every day
when we arrived at work we would text the other to let them know we had arrived
safe and if we didn’t do it then we would text one another to check that they
were safe.
For the love of Cefin
Cefi and I shared 25 years, 22 of them married, of
joy and happiness we did so much together he was as I so often said to him, the
brightest star shining in the firmament of my existence. I suppose to some we
may have seemed soppy but to us it was just one long honeymoon where the love
and joy never depreciated. I loved everything about him but somethings I loved
more than others. He was an incredibly devoted father and husband and tolerated
all my excesses and exuberances he kept me level and steadied me. Sometimes if
I was spouting too much I would just feel the gentle tap to my arm or to my leg
that simply said ’enough now’ He gave me stability and guidance and never stood
in the way of me doing anything and was always there at my side supporting in
all I did. He never said no to me and as far as was possible for him he
indulged me all he could. For example For HIS
40th birthday Ryan, Judith and I took him on a surprise trip to New
York, yet it was ME who came home
with 3 pairs of Manola Blahnik shoes, I
could not make up my mind which one to choose so he just said get them all. He
kept me in good shoes Cefi loved beautiful shoes and clothes for both me and
himself his legendary blue suedes are with us today. That is one of the reasons
I have requested the colourful dress code today. Cefi was a man who knew how to
wear colours; he has some truly awesome shirts and fabulous ties. In fact all
the men in the family are wearing one of Cef’s ties today as a mark of their
respect. For the love of Cefin.
For the love of Cefin my life and the life of all
us who knew and loved him will now never be the same again you will all have
your memories of him and I do hope that you all take the time to write in the
memorial book and don’t worry if you don’t get the time today I will leave it
in church for a couple of weeks or you can always pop by the house and do it
later. For the love of Cefin.
For me I will miss so very many things I will miss
how he loved his food. I will miss how he loved riding fairground rides
especially rollercoasters. I will miss how he precisely measured out everything
he fixed or made in the House or here in church. I will miss how he developed
little systems or gadgets for doing things. I will miss how he kept useful
pieces of wood pile and the delight he took last year when he used it all up on
a garden project. I will miss the fact that he never said I told you so. I will
miss how he soaked stamps off envelopes so that he could reuse the ones that
had not been franked. I will miss how he enjoyed getting new coins with
different pictures on them to add to his collection. I will miss how when I
told him I had had a dream about him the night before he would apologise for
anything he may have said or done in MY
dream. I will miss what we called his cumptious moments when he misheard or
misunderstood an English word. I will miss how he would not even watch a copied
video if he thought it was illegal. I will miss how his decent honest soul
would not allow him to lie. I will miss how he never swore. I will miss how he
never shouted. I will miss how he would lean forward from the choir stall and
send me a coded I love you message down the church. I will miss his gorgeous teeth. I will miss
his beautiful smile. I will miss his soft sparking eyes and how those eyes looked
at me. I will miss how we danced together round the kitchen. I will miss
resting my head on his hairy chest and listening to his heart beat. I will
forever miss my love and the way he loved me. I consider my life blessed to
have known him. I will miss him for ever and forever my heart belongs to him.
For the love of Cefin we are all better people.
For the love of Cefin. My love my life.
In the last
days Ryan and I have thought a lot about what music we wanted at this service.
The hymns were easy as Cefi loved all the Welsh tunes in particular Cwm Rhonda
which we will sing shortly he was very proud of his heritage and in particular
he loved singing hymns. Harder though was choosing the songs there are so many
that we sang together or he sang for me. Some were sad most very emotive. He
loved Elvis, Jim Reeves, The Eagles, Country, Eurovision, show songs, opera but
in the end we have chosen two. This first one I would sing to him at the top of
my voice and would always end up with a dance around the kitchen or a huge Cefi
hug. It sums up everything I felt about him.
After Ryan speaks;
Our second choice of song is a song that Cef
himself would always join in with gusto and especially the little spoken
phrase. We chose this one because Cefin loved people and especially his eye
would be caught by a pretty girl I cannot tell you how many times he nearly
crashed the car whilst driving through Headingley when someone caught his eye.
I would catch him looking and say I saw you and he would flash me a smile and
say but you know I only love you and I did I knew he loved me.
For the love of Cefi I will pull on my running things again on Sept 11th so many family and friends have already
sponsored me but if you have not and want to my details follow and I sign out as always by saying thank you for your
support and if you could please see your way to sponsor me at https://www.justgiving.com/Janet-Lewis3
for however much you can spare I and www.musculardystrophyuk.org would
be most grateful.
Thank
you
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